There is snow on the ground and it is officially way past time to declare no more sun and fun for these book princesses! When we’re not reading, we do occasionally like to step outside and revel in the glory of the fresh air … but if that doesn’t mean beach goodness and mountain hikes, what options do we have?
Welcome to the Winter Sports Guide (or really, just Winter Activities). By no way comprehensive, and replete with our commentary, this guide will perhaps hype you up to explore the mountains of fluffy white outside your door … or convince you to stay inside and stick to tackling that ever-growing TBR.
MANDY: I heard that if you’re a hockey player, you don’t have a lot of teeth. I like my teeth. I need my teeth. I need it for chewing and eating, and like, how else will I snap my gum at those I dislike to show my displeasure (I’ve never ever done this but it sounds fiery). Therefore, I’mma put myself in the penalty box on this one, so I don’t get into a brawl that I would lose my precious teeth.
SHA: This Canadian had to include hockey at the top of the list. And also a very precise gif that illustrates why I will not be playing this sport either recreationally (moving on ice while handling a heavy object on ice?) nor in any organized capacity (just add the slamming of bodies). I am a tiny child who can barely maneuver slippery sidewalks.
Plain ‘ol Skating
MANDY: Well, I mean, Mickey and Minnie make it look so easy and nice, but like, what if you fall? It will be a very cold and hard fall. And then, like, what if you somehow manage to fall hard enough to crack the ice and then you’re submerged into the freezing water and drown, LIKE OKAY. There is a reason no one has ever offered to take me ice skating.
SHA: Look at them cute mouses skating! No, I can’t partner skate or kick up a speed-skating storm, but I can remain on two feet with like, maybe one fall per hour? Skating is definitely a winter fave for me! (+ Bonus, I have several skating paths near my home!)
MANDY: I once fell off my sled on the middle of the way down on my first sledding experience. I believe I was 7 at the time. It was the end of my sledding days.
SHA: OMG. Nothing will *ever* replace the thrill of rushing down a slope of snow on a toboggan. Will I hit an ice patch and break the speed of light? Will I crash into a snow dune and wipe out full on *epic style*. Somehow trudging back up is both a reward and reminder of my humanity.
Build a Snowman / Fort
MANDY: Mmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm I might consider a snowman. But like, in order to get enough snow to make a snowman, it has to be really cold? And this girl usually avoids things that would make her cold. Sooooooo most likely not.
SHA: I may be twenty-two (hit it Taylor Swift) but I still make yearly snow forts. (My snow-people always flop, I never seem to have good snow days when I choose to make my cReAtiOns. What was my best snow fort, you ask? It included a secret cavern entrance, seats for three, and a window to gaze through as you sip the hot drink of your choice.
MANDY: I am the person that would be put down in one second flat. Also I mean, I would never make it to the skiing part, because I would never go on the ski lift??? THAT LOOKS DANGEROUS. WHERE ARE THE SIDES.
SHA: Um no. No no no. I somehow end up going every year because people invite me (and then are like, “Hey, we will pay for you!”) and who says no to free stuff? This is a time when I need to say no to free stuff. I *always* wipe out. The last time I fell through a barrier at the edge of a small “cliff” overhanging the parking lot (it was poorly set up, thankfully my friend pulled me back up) and got a minor concussion.
MANDY: … … … no. just no. *flops down in the snow*
SHA: Maybe for a second I thought, “Okay, I’m bad with skiis, but snowboarding is only one board so I should be better, right?” Thankfully I corrected myself by both hearing that snowboarding is much harder, and watching some friends scoot down a mountain on their butts because snowboarding = hard.
MANDY: Well, huh. I don’t fully understand this sport, but it does appear there is the potential for some serious pain in the gif that Sha choose. I feel like I would be down to do some of it at the beginning to just to left my competitive side flow, but would eventually peace out like I do during the Olympics after a few minutes of watching.
SHA: My first thought when I see curling is “HAAARRDDERR” and that should be your responsible first thought too. My fam loves the sport, I acknowledge it exists, that is all. (Also once, during the Olympics, my gym teacher cancelled class so we could watch a match and I wasn’t complaining then.)
MANDY: there is a name??? Also, like, meh. I once got hit in the face with a snowball that had a giant chunk of ice in it, and it brought much pain and coldness and PAIN so yeah, this girl out.
SHA: I just learned the name for this (before I just called it “that awesome massive snowball game) and now I am down! I haven’t had snowball fight fun in yeeeaarss. I think my last one was in elementary school, when no one had qualms about exchanging ice chunks for snowballs. Yep. Good old days.
Drink Cocoa & Read Books
MANDY: You have me at the reading. I can do some cocoa every once in a while. But the cocoa must stay great away from my books because there is no coming back from a cocoa stain. Omg, wow, so finally concludes this edition of Morbid Mandy.
SHA: Yeah. Okay. I think we all know where THIS one ranks on my list. That gif is way too tempting.