We are taking on one of Mandy’s least favorite princesses, but kind of one of her favorite moods/story lines, so let’s see if she can manage to finish this story instead of DNFing it like the movie?
This week, we will be taking on…
🍎 Snow White! 🍎
Disney’s Snow White is based off the Brothers Grimm story, which we will be taking a look at today.
Here’s a short premise of the story:
The story of an evil queen determined to do away with a girl–with skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony–who threatens the queen’s quest to remain the most beautiful in her kingdom.
I don’t believe that I have taken a further dive into this story before, so this girl is actually going fully blind. I’ve seen my fair share of Snow White adaptations, and I don’t feel like I have seen it being advertised as being super different. Here’s to hoping we might be close to the Disney version for once and no cannibalistic orges?
Shall we go over all the ways that this OG fairytale is not the Disney goodness and gets a little crazy? Let’s bring out the bullet points!
- “Once upon a time in midwinter, when the snowflakes were falling like feathers from heaven, a queen sat sewing at her window, which had a frame of black ebony wood.” <– Omg, we starting off so fancy. so atmospheric. what is this. whatever it is, i’m so down.
- So queen is sewing and accidentally stabs herself. ouchie.
- The red on the white looked so beautiful that she thought to herself, “If only I had a child as white as snow, as red as blood, and as black as the wood in this frame.” <–okay, like, like, like, BLOOD ON SNOW isn’t a jam to be had??? I’m not down for this jam. me out.
- And as soon as the child was born, the queen died. <–WELL THAT WAS FAST. she gone in a sentence. actually like, her entire character arc was in a paragraph, so I mean, okay.
- Also, like, everyone yells at Disney for getting rid of the mothers, but I mean, I think we need to blame the OG fairytale writers? They getting rid of leading ladies in sentences and taking them out in the first paragraphs.
- A year later the king took himself another wife. <– WE REALLY WASTING NOOOOOO TIME HERE.
- So, new wife is angsty and arrogant and she has a magic mirror. and ARE WE READY FOR…
- “Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who in this land is fairest of all?” <– oh YES. Although, “in this land” is new. It doesn’t roll of the tongue as easily. But this phrase is iconic and i loves.
- Snow White is growing and she becoming prettier. Super true to form so far, but I’m still peeking around castle corners to see if mama orges are coming.
- You, my queen, are fair; it is true.
But Snow-White is a thousand times fairer than you. <–Omg, this mirror is HARSH. This pretty true to form.
- Queen summons huntsmen. SHE GONNA KILL HER.
- “Kill her, and as proof that she is dead bring her lungs and her liver back to me.” <–Excuse, where is the heart??? why lungs. why liver. is the plot twist that she gonna do an organ transplant because she’s actually good?
- So huntsmen takes her but she so pretty that the huntsmen is like kk byeeeeee. go free.
- “The cook had to boil them with salt, and the wicked woman ate them, supposing that she had eaten Snow-White’s lungs and liver.” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAMA ORGE IS BACK. Seriously. What is THIS. WHY. WHY do the queens keep doing THIS. maybe this is why Disney only focuses on princesses???
- Oh, wow, Disney was even true to the wild run in the forest. I’m impressed. Less traumatizing than the Disney version when I was a child.
- So, Snow finds the dwarfs’ hut, and she full on eats their food, drinks their wine, and then crashes in their bed. The worst part? She legit eats a little of each plate, so EVERYONE got this girl’s germs on their plates.
- They come back, and they have full on Goldie Locks and the 3 Bears moments and then find the girl in the bed – and they like OMFG she so beautiful. all forgiven.
- So, she finally wakes up and meets the dwarfs and they give her this wonderful choice, “If you will keep house for us, and cook, make beds, wash, sew, and knit, and keep everything clean and orderly, then you can stay with us, and you shall have everything that you want.”
- I MEAN, DO EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING. AND YOU CAN STAY. how generous.
- “Yes,” said Snow-White, “with all my heart.” *slowly blinks* I MEAN. what every 7 year wants to do.
- So, this goes on for a while, until queen goes to mirror and is like WHO THE BEST NOW, MAGICAL OBJECT? and the mirror RATS snow out. like, mirror person, get it together.
- Queen has ENOUGH and goes as a beggar women to peddle her wares. She gonna sell Snow silk! doesn’t she know that girl scout cookies are far more likely to get me to open the door?
- Snow White gets drawn in by a pretty bodice – I mean, pretty dresses are my downfall too, so i mean i feels – and then the queen tightens it too tight and Snow White is down for the count.
- Dwarfs come and save her by cutting her bodice and her breath comes back to her. How kind.
- Queen finds out from the mirror yet again that Snow still alive.
- Peddler comes back, but Snow White knows this game and won’t let her in. HOWEVER, Queen is like, CHECK OUT THIS COMB. And Snow is like oh sure, yeah, and gets herself poisoned that way.
- “You specimen of beauty,” said the wicked woman, “now you are finished.” And she walked away. <–OMFG, I’m out. I CANT.
- Dwarfs come back and save Snow again. Mirror gives away Snow is still out there YET AGAIN. thought you got her back even though you don’t have a back, mirror. WHAT HAPPENED.
- Peddler is back. But SHE FINALLY PEDDLING SOME APPLES.
- “Are you afraid of poison?” asked the old woman. “Look, I’ll cut the apple in two. You eat the red half, and I shall eat the white half.”Now the apple had been so artfully made that only the red half was poisoned. Snow-White longed for the beautiful apple, and when she saw that the peasant woman was eating part of it she could no longer resist, and she stuck her hand out and took the poisoned half. She barely had a bite in her mouth when she fell to the ground dead.
- Like, okay,, that is kind of smart? You evil, but still.
- The dwarfs come back and they sad and they like we gonna bury her! But no, she still looking good, so we gonna keep her up here, which, um, a lot of thoughts.
- “Snow-White lay there in the coffin a long, long time, and she did not decay, but looked like she was asleep, for she was still as white as snow and as red as blood, and as black-haired as ebony wood.” <– um, yeah, um, yeah. UM. kk.
- WARNING: PRINCE MAN THING HAS COME INTO THE BACKGROUND AND HE IS CREEPY AFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF AND IMMA USE SOME EXAMPLES.
- So, a prince comes wandering through the woods and sees the coffin and sees the writing and goes:
- “Then he said to the dwarfs, ‘Let me have the coffin. I will give you anything you want for it.'”
- As he thus spoke, the good dwarfs felt pity for him and gave him the coffin. The prince had his servants carry it away on their shoulders. But then it happened that one of them stumbled on some brush, and this dislodged from Snow-White’s throat the piece of poisoned apple that she had bitten off. Not long afterward she opened her eyes, lifted the lid from her coffin, sat up, and was alive again.”Good heavens, where am I?” she cried out.The prince said joyfully, “You are with me.” He told her what had happened, and then said, “I love you more than anything else in the world. Come with me to my father’s castle. You shall become my wife.” Snow-White loved him, and she went with him. Their wedding was planned with great splendor and majesty.
- No wonder this prince was never given a name. He doesn’t deserve one. Dude needs to be locked up for this.
- Snow-White’s godless stepmother was also invited to the feast. After putting on her beautiful clothes she stepped before her mirror and said:
Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
Who in this land is fairest of all?
The mirror answered:
You, my queen, are fair; it is true.
But the young queen is a thousand times fairer than you.
Lmfao. At least this mirror is continuous in its shade.
- So, she comes to their wedding and she standing there and she so frightened that she is legit in shock and can’t move and then someone gets some iron shoes which they THEN put on iron coals and then make the queen put them on and dances and this kills her and OMFG WHATTTTTTTTTTT. HOW IS THIS THE ENDING. WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS LIFE. OMG, WHY ARE THESE SO WEIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
So, to summarize, let’s take a look at the differences between Disney’s and the OG:
- Um, like, Snow White was SEVEN when all of this went down??? That is the only age that is mentioned throughout the story, and it is never updated. There is time lapses, but idk how much time. Conclusion: Girl was not that old. Erm. *steps back slowly*
- Liverssssssssssssss. Lungsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. WHERE THEM HEARTS.
- Um, like, the fool me twice, shame on me? Snow White got poisoned twice before the iconic poisoned apple, and she kept taking things from strangers. GIRL. GET IT TOGETHER.
- The kiss of true love didn’t save the day but instead some bumpy walking.
- Prince Fabian wasn’t as much of a total creeper as this prince – although he still creepy af.
- Um, like, that whole last paragraph????????
Omg, wow, tho. this is actually pretty legit? One of the most true to Disney forms.
Conclusion: In a truly shocking plot twist, watch the Kirsten White version. That’s my personal favorite. The atmospheric and cinematography is everything.
What do you think? Have you read this story? How did you like this new series? Let’s discuss in the comments below!