How Disney Princesses Have Lied to Me Pt. 1

how disney princesses lied to me

That’s right! It’s meeeeeeeeeee, back with how different genres have lied to me. Lots of things have lied to me. But Disney Princesses? As much as I love, adore, and am highkey obsessed with them? I totally think they have lied to me the most. So many lies. But I just love them all dearly. Shall we go over the ways these epic girls have lieddddddddddd to us all????

There for sure will be a part 2, and perhaps even a part 3???? Idk, this is your girl who is full on obsessed with these ladies, so I meannnnnnnnn.

Myth #1: Hair Goals

Image result for pocahontas gif

To me, Pocahontas has the most hair goals. I literally stare at her hair the entire movie and go, BUT HOW. HOW IS THIS LUSCIOUSNESS POSSIBLE. IT HAS BODY. IT HAS LIFE. IT HAS FLOWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Ugh. But it’s not just Pocahontas. It’s almost all of them. Ariel has the most lovely bounce. Rapunzel has long hair goals that are straight up MAGIC GOLD. And Tiana has master the art of the most perfect bun. I just wore a bun today and I had these weird little tufts that popped out and didn’t nearly do the cute little curl things she gotten going on. But I mean, HONESTLY. I think this is the biggest lie that Disney has fed us. Unrealistic hair for dayssssssss when my hair does this half wave and half straight thing that just ruins EVERYTHING.

Myth #2: Animals Are Your Friends

Image result for snow white gif

Animals are not my friends. They are Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty’s friends, but they are not MY friends. I mean, I legit can’t even get my one cat to let me pet him for more than a solid 45 seconds – if I’m blessed. I am not blessed often. But Disney Princesses attract cute little animals alllllllllllll the time. I mean, Tiana turned into a cute little animal and Merida’s bros as well! Birds don’t sew me dresses – well, I mean, they might if I didn’t run away from them every time I spotted them. Birds are scary. And mice have never swept up my house. I once accidentally watered one outside and it raced away as I shrieked. SO IT’S A NO GO ON THE ANIMAL FRIENDS FOR THIS FAKE PRINCESS BECAUSE LIES.

Myth #3: Stepmothers are Evil

Image result for evil stepmother gif

I mean, I’ve never had a stepmother. I only know like one or two people that actually have a stepmother. But they don’t completely hate them? I mean, I’m sure there are terrible stepmothers, but I really don’t think every single one of them are nefarious and off petting evil cats and cooking up straight up MURDEROUS apples. I mean, wow. I really need to know more people with stepmothers.

Myth #4: Green Glowy Things Are All Around And You Must Beware

Image result for sleeping beauty spindle gif

Okay, have you ever even seen a lime green glowy thing???? I have never!! I don’t think I’ve ever wore a lime green…wait, no, I have worn a lime green glowy outfit. Green – especially lime green – used to be my favorite color. But I mean, I think one of the biggest lies is peddling is that I would want to go to a glowing thing? I mean, if I saw what Aurora is seeing up there, I would be peacing out so fast. I mean, Maleficent would have to try a LOT harder, because I mean, HONESTLY. In no way is that tempting. And I mean, Belle with the glowing rose? I mean, I wouldn’t be tempted to touch it – I would be worried about RADIOACTIVITY. I mean, what else glows????

Myth #5: Princes, princes, princes

Image result for disney prince gif

I mean, do you know any princes? I literally haven’t met any royalty. I haven’t even met any local town royalty. The closest I got was some epic queen writers, but I mean, these girls are literally finding princes left and right. They’re finding them in woods, in the sea, in enchanted castles, IN THE WOODS, at some parties as a frog, on the battlefield, and probably again in the woods. But I mean, why are these princes so available? Literally the only princes I know by name is Prince Harry and Prince William, and idk, but I don’t think they’re very available????? Also, Disney Princes are all super charming and wholesome, and Prince Harry is cool and all but I’m pretty sure Prince Eric never played naked billiards at a hotel in Vegas??? (Totally see Naveen doing this while strumming his ukulele, though.)

Myth #6: The Woods, The Woods, The Woods

Image result for merida wisp gif

Okay, the woods really aren’t a great game time for Snow White, but I mean, she still had some great times finding some men’s houses, cleaning said house, and then chilling with furry friends. And YES she got poisoned with an apple in the said house in the woods, but she did get back to life with a kiss in the same WOODS. Almost every single Disney Princess movies involve woods. I can only think of Moana at the moment that doesn’t involve them, because I mean, it’s hard to have woods on a tropical island. Idk, about anyone else, but I actively avoid the woods. I have watched far too many Criminal Minds and read too many thrillers to know this is where you are 3000% likely to get murdered. And okay, sure, the woods can look pretty and weird people like Sha like to go on HIKES, but I mean, is the woods really where it is at??? Idk. If I ever met a man in the woods like Sleeping Beauty or found an enchanted castle like Belle or ran into a wisp like Merida, I would be soooooooooooooooooo out.

What do you think? How has Disney Princesses lied to you? Have they lied to you in these ways as well? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

mandy

36 thoughts on “How Disney Princesses Have Lied to Me Pt. 1

  1. DISNEY PRINCESSES ARE THE BIGGEST LIARS OF THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The hair goals. Lies. The animal friendships. Lies. The AMAZING SINGING VOICE? LIE. IT’S ALL LIESSSSSSS
    And lets not forget that their adventures happen to them as teens. Teen Rendz is really hurt she did not get any glory.
    But I still love them XD
    Great post Mandy! I absolutely agree with everything you said! Perfectly well put and the gifs added that finishing touch!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They areeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. And omg YES. Happy adventures that are totally against safety standards, singing voices that just come out naturally and unexpectedly, and more??? These girls. But we love them all the same.

      And lol thank you, Rendz!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. lololols I’m laughing so hard at this! I totally feel you on the hair thing (Pocahontas is hair goals for me on land, Ariel at sea), and hahahaha yessss, we should absolutely associate green glowing things with radioactivity. 😂 But I shall disagree with you on the woods! Woods are magical, and I demand that they be revered! *ringing proclamation*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 1. Oh yes, those hair goals are a total lie. Princess hair would be amazing though.
    2. I’m half and half on this. I love animals and I have much stronger bonds with them than people… they just don’t make my clothes.
    3. I will have to disagree on this one. My step-mother (and step-siblings) were pretty terrible. I basically got in trouble for existing, whereas they were precious and perfect and got everything they wanted. Vacation? Every American Girl doll and accessory? Engraved ipod? Newest video game console and every game? Yes, yes, yes, and yes.
    4. I have not come across dangerous radioactive items in my free time, so yeah that’s a lie. But if you ever do see bright, glowing green things – stay away! That is a true lesson.
    5. Sadly no princes, but I guess I’ve met local town royalty? The town my library is in has a bunch of stuff with donation plaques on them, so the people have to be pretty rich and important to have libraries or large meeting rooms named after them. Right? The only problem is that they’re octogenarians, or maybe septuagenarians. Either way, not particularly prince material.
    6. I would love to live in the woods, but meeting a random stranger in there? Yeah no, I’m not chatty with regular people so I’m not going to form a connection with a possible prince in the woods. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 1. LOL I think we might have a little more instinct with the princess hair. 😉
      2. Yes. v.v They should be making lovely outfits for us.
      3. OH NO. I’m sorry, Kyera. :/
      4. YES.
      5. Drats. But at least some royalty????
      6. True, true. Do you do hiking and such?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve never been camping before, although I think Peace Corps might vaguely count, but all the rest I enjoy. I have a kayak, although my dad keeps giving it to other people.

        Liked by 1 person

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